May showers

Hello, strangers!

 Due to transitioning back into pulling shifts behind the coffee bar combined with an impending business trip to Dallas for the Head Cheese and me, BaristaGirl has been a bit lacking.  I do apologize.

We sure have been hustling around though! I hope you've been in lately to help us welcome the summer season. Everything is better in the summer, isn't it? I know most of us in this area are winter sports aficionados but come on. Last night I had sushi and a glass of wine with a girlfriend then went to split a Framboise down at city beach in Whitefish. We left the dock at 9pm and it was still light when I got home. Beat that.

 In downtown news, out of town business is picking up as well. Southern accents exclaim joy in not paying sales tax, or someone turns down a coffee card because they're, "just here on vacation." We love meeting the summer crowd. We especially love seeing a face from last summer or the summer before. Customers and baristas, we may not know much about one another, whether we have siblings or any allergies or what the other does for fun, but we have a mutual understanding of a shared experience we'd like to have again. The Colter experience. It's rad. I love sharing it. I say now that I love sharing it when I happen to be on this side of our upcoming trip where I'm going to have to share the Colter Experience with half of Dallas. We'll see what I have to say after that.

We had our Latte Art Competition on Sunday! It was fun! Changed it up a bit this year and offered some different options for spectators and competitors. A pour over bar, 5 Sparrows sampling table, affogatos, and general mingling with the crew. I look forward to continuing to tweak our approach and hope to have the house packed next year! I wanna nervously eye fire code capacity! From our in-house competition our veteran barista Brendarrrr took first place and runner up to her was Allison and the bronze went to Tazia. Out of house first place went to Montana Coffee Traders' lead barista, Matthew, second and third went to Hannah and Sarsten both from Ceres Bakery. So cool to see other area shops coming in to support the event. I have inklings of a combined effort and bigger draw in our futures. Personally, I thought the poem I wrote the night before and then posted as Colter's Facebook page status was gonna bring everybody in droves but apparently my poetry fell on deaf ears. Blind eyes? One of those.

I hope everyone has met and enjoys our newbies! We have a couple of seasonal baristas right now, those young and vibrant college youths who make us yearn to be back in those times of sleepless nights and whirring metabolisms. Yes, I'll have whipped cream with that! Anyway, Russ and Jessica are our new faces so come see them and try not to give them too hard of a time.

Also, starting this Friday, June 1st, we will be participating in First Friday! So come hear the musical stylings of Jarod Kearny and see the art of Alan Satterlee as you join the rest of Kalispell for a fun evening stroll around downtown! Keep on keepin on, y'all, I'll catch you on the flip side!

Have you missed me?

Boy. What a trip parenthood is. So far the best trip I've ever taken. I kind of have that feeling you get when you're more worn out from your relaxing vacation than you would be if you'd just stayed home. Had you just stayed home, however, you would have never gotten to touch that sting ray while snorkeling or experienced racing around in a dune buggy. I've been driving one crazy dune buggy with my little baby Jasper by my side. I'm sure the BaristaGirl blog will be peppered with babyphenalia from here on out so I wont go too overboard today.

I wanted to make sure no one forgot about us though! I miss the blog while I don't have a lot of material since I'm not in the shop as much right now as I used to be I still wanted to post. I happened to go in today, actually, which served a dual purpose of caffeinating (I swear that's how it's spelled.) me and inspiring me. I miss it. I miss the chaos, I miss watching downtown. Of course, I miss the chocolate chip mini cookies. Mostly I miss the customers. We wouldn't be Colter without our customers.

In fact, I had one of those endearing customer interactions today that on a day pre-Jasper would have sent me into a fit. Today I am slightly less hormonal, incredibly less pregnant and the sun is shining. Today, life is good. And then I run into Big Bob. Big Bob is an incredibly endearing 50something guy who always seems to be wearing tie-dye. Big smile, scratchy boom for a voice that sounds like gravelly molasses and he drives a hoopdee cruiser, driver's seat reclined, windows down. I pass him on my way to the bathroom and he grabs my hand, gives it a squeeze, tells me it's good to see me and then asks if I had my baby.

Well, yeah. Hence not being pregnant. I smile and point in Allison's direction. Upon my leaving the bathroom he tells me I make a good looking baby and gives my hand another squeeze. I go sit by the window and wait patiently for my americano amid the madness of Chai Chillers and Huckleberry Hurricanes that is School District #5 early release. Big Bob jumps up and comes to take a seat next to me presumably to talk more about how cute my baby is.

"Hey Jess, I don't wanna bother ya, but it's so funny... Wanna know what's funny?"
"Sure, Bob, lemme hear it."
"See," he starts to bite his knuckles and grin a little. I'm starting to look forward to hearing this, "for the longest time I couldn't tell if you were pregnant or just getting... you know... fatter and fatter. Hah! Isn't that a kick!"
Hilarious, Big Bob. Hi-freaking-larious. I then unwrap the stale mini-cupcake I had grabbed from the day old plate in the pastry case and eat the entire thing in one bite. Smiling through buttercream. I now remember why I hang out mostly with my child who doesn't speak and sees my excess as delicious, delicious lunch.

Which brings me to the link that I wanted to post as my entire blog in the first place. It's from the 1000awesomethings blog by Neil Pasricha. I recommend all the other 999 entries too but this one is especially awesome and prevalent to slinging lattes and flashing smiles.

Is this about you?

TTYL

Did you have the fever?

Twas two score and twelve weeks ago, in the clapboard and fiberglass land of Martin City that a cold wind blew. Men in animal skins cheersed to leather faced women and talked through gap teeth and Pall Malls. The 2011 annual Cabin Fever Days in Martin City had descended upon us.

My adventure partner, Grady, and I had high hopes of debauchery and entertainment. The Bar Stool Ski Races being the main attraction were certainly not to be missed and within the races my favorite was the self touted, "Born and Bred Canyon Stripper" who gyrated her way down Martin City Hill to the whoops and hollers of hundreds of drunk bystanders.

Needless to say, I took the day off from Colter. And the next day. We had a cabin rented in the canyon and were settled in to become one with the locals. Among the festivities are snowshoe baseball, an axe throwing competition, cursing contest, and an arm wrestling competition complete with the official table used by Sylvester Stalone in "Over The Top."

Grady signed me up. I didn't say no. I did order a few extra gin and sodas.

All of my tamping and milk jug lugging paid off. Did you know that this particular barista at your service is the 2011 Cabin Fever Days Women's Division arm wrestling champion? True story. I won 9 dollars, a key chain and whole lot of pride.

Check out my final battle below. The low, guttural, "DESTROY HER" command toward the end is Grady, my best pal and coach.




See that determination? That resolve?

I thought about going back to defend my title this last weekend. I do have a lot more weight to throw around this year. In the end I stayed home and made granola to send to my little brother so he'll stop eating those dang Pop Tarts at college.

At any rate, this post had next to nothing to do with coffee but it is a fond memory and a story the Head Cheese always enjoys and we thought y'all might enjoy it too.

From our headquarters to yours, Happy Friday.

So, how bout them Republicans?

I'm a political slacker. I try to be involved and informed but aside from what I get from Slate and other snarky and entertaining news sites I tend to be pretty laid back. I'm skeptical of all of our options but to be honest I haven't focused a lot of energy on researching all (or any of) the candidates. Even now as I watch/listen to Newt Gingrich's speech from the Florida Caucus, I can't help but be entirely distracted by his wife and her striking resemblance to Paris Hilton and The Joker's eldest daughter, Polly Esther. Then I get distracted again when I hear Newt quoting Honest Abe by saying, "...for the people, by the people..." and I just think of the brand FUBU (For Us By Us). Which then leads to me imagining Newt playing Woody Harrelson's role in White Men Can't Jump. Which obviously then reminds me of Wesley Snipes' performance in Blade and also Murder at 1600. Which brings us full circle. And I have absolutely no idea what Newt actually said. I feel a little better because I don't think his wife does either.

The coffee shop is a good resource for keeping up on current events. Someone is always talking about something. I get to hear all about the wolves and who wants to kill em and who wants to go Jungle Book with them. The social aspect has always been my favorite part of my job but I think I could also say it is one of my main sources of information on local and national, even global goings on. Of course, I can't take what you shlubs say as gospel, I need to do a little more research but y'all do definitely inspire more Google searches than you're probably aware of.

We've got some cool current events coming up in Colter, too. Even though we're not advertised on the posters, we are in fact participating in the Chocolate Affair next Friday. We'll be staying open late and offering out of the ordinary delicious treats such as truffles from The Palette Cafe in Columbia Falls among other foodies.

This coming Monday, of course, is stand up comedy/open mic night and if you haven't been in to be entertained you're definitely missing out.

Also, a current and ongoing affair, have you guys tried our Roaster's Reserves yet? I'm getting a ton of positive feedback so far so be sure you have a cuppa soon before it changes!

And now, a joke: Horse walks into a bar, bartender says, "why the long face?"

Ba-doom-cha!

And since that one was kinda lame, another. Brenda (or anyone who prefers to abstain from off color humor), stop reading here. This is not for you.

Three mice are sitting at a bar. They're pretty hard mice, you can tell by the looks of them. First mouse takes a big swig of his beer, slams it down, says to the other mice, "So get this. Every night old lady in the house sets a mouse trap. You know what I do? I bench press that stupid mouse trap. She's never seen my kinda mouse."

Other two mice nod, impressed. Second mouse, though, second mouse isn't going to let that go untopped. "Oh, yeah?" He says, "Well, from the time I was a young mouse I've sprinkled rat poison on my grapenuts every morning. Now I sprinkle it on all my kids' breakfast. Kinda start to like it after awhile. Toughest mice in town, my kids."

Other two mice nod, very impressed with the rat poison story. Third mouse puts his head down and shakes it a little bit, maybe in disbelief. He then finishes his beer, slides it down to the bartender pulls his hat on and marches out.

First mouse says, "What?! Can't take the heat? Getting out of the kitchen?!"
"Nah," third mouse says, "I'm going home to f*ck the cat."

And there you have it, folks. I'm spent. Time to go elevate my cankles.

Sopapillas

It's good to know I still retain some of my Spanish-speaking instincts. Yesterday amid all the SOPA/PIPA huff, I kept thinking people were talking about sopapillas. What's so bad about fluffy fried pastry drizzled in honey and powdered sugar? I mean, are we really gonna go all artery blockage police on a little dessert? My brain works in mysterious ways. For some reason a few weeks ago I had a phrase stuck in my head, every few minutes it would just float through my subconscious and trigger strange images. Wanna know what that phrase was? It was 'mutton bustin.' Go figure.

Back to SOPA/PIPA. Did y'all read about it? It makes me nervous to think that congress was considering limiting our online freedoms. I see where they are coming from with the piracy stuff, but aren't criminals going to be criminals and find a way around such legislation? It seems to me the real people to suffer will be you and I when we try to upload a funny photo to our Fbooks and we're blocked. What would I do if I weren't allowed to upload pictures of baby hedgehogs curled up in measuring cups? That's a big part of my day right there. I do have to split my time between the hedgies and really pedantic articles making fun of people with poor grammar and spelling. It's terrible, I know. It's my release. Yoga doesn't cut it for me I guess.

I was thinking about the internet and how much capability we have because of it and how truly revolutionary a thing it is. I opened an advertisement via Colter's Facebook page. The parameters I put on the ad made it so that it reached 34,653 people. Isn't that crazy?! 34,653 people that never would have known we exist. Of those 34,653 people Colter is now Facebook friends with 94 of them and I only opened it an hour ago. Jeesum crow. Those intarwebs shore is powerful.

Then I googled "coffee" to see what happens. Because internet search engines are powered by terms and also need to be powered by money all terms are up for sale. The word "coffee" will produce the highest bidder first. Sbux is apparently the highest bidder on "coffee." Big shocker, I know. But then scrolling down it gets a little deeper. You'll find something I'm sure Pete has an app for on his iPhone as well as the websites for Folgers and Gevalia. Of course the search yields 1,090,000,000 results. I don't even know how to say that out loud. As the pages go on and on the results get more convoluted. It really does go to show, however, that the internet is an incredible tool and it brings together so many people, industries, small business and hedge hog enthusiasts. It has revolutionized the coffee business, I know. Has it affected your industry?

Part of the reason I was brought into the position I hold is to take advantage of internet resources. I recently found a grant we may be able to apply for to get our baristas certified by the Barista Guild of America. How sweet would that be?! Albeit, incredibly nerdy but pretty sweet nonetheless. Plus, our coffee nerdiness is part of our charm, right?

Speaking of nerdiness. We have two new Roaster's Reserve coffees debuting today. We are going to be more regular with rotating our Roaster's Reserve and I have a hunch it's going to be on the monthly. The plan is that each showcased bean will be a single origin microlot. That sounds like Greek, I know. Basically it means that our RRs won't be blends (single origin) and will come from a very small and extra special batch of coffee (microlot). Prepare to be dazzled by Organic Papua New Guinea and Organic Brazil! I've only tried the Papua New Guinea and I liked it a lot. Light roast, buttery, a teeny bit lemony. The Brazil smelled amazing when it was being roasted and I look forward to trying it. I especially look forward to Brazil because I have a real thing for Central/South American coffees. They're like chocolate.

So, for today, come try our new coffee and appreciate freedom. And a joke:

Sherlock Holmes and Watson went camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said, "Watson, look up at the stars and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars" Holmes said, "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied, "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of them have planets, it's quite likely there are some planents like Earth out there. And it there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said, "Watson, you idiot, it means somebody stole our tent!"

Har. Har. Har.

I have an absolute favorite joke of all time. In my single days I would tell it as a conversation started with the fellas. It's a bit off color and has some swearing in it but if you come in understanding those truths and would like to hear it, ask me at the shop sometime and I'll make ya laugh.


For now, later.

So this is the new year

2012 is already a week old! Who moved a mountain this week?! I didn't actually move a mountain but I did win a sweet game of dominoes! Celebrating simple joys, ya know.

As life mellows out to a business as usual pace, we're still enjoying hustling and bustling at the shop. Now that the holidays have come and gone all the tasks I assigned myself to do, "once New Years is over," have jumped on my back. Busy is good though and it's shaping up to be a solid 2012 for Colter. Starting with new t shirts! Head Cheese sprung for the nice ones! Shout out to one of our very favorites, Chance, for talking him into the squishy squish 25/25/50 American Apparel blend (for at least one of this year's shirt styles). They really are better. I tell him these things but he just blames my blatant Libran qualities, smiles, nods, and asks about getting a quote on BeefyTees. If you see the Head Cheese in the shop would you please happen to loudly mention to your companion that you like your nipples too much to have them be chafed off by a BeefyTee? I've already won the battle but this is a war on frugality. Some things are just worth paying for. Decorative throw pillows? You can probably get those at ShopKo and leave Pier1 out of it. If you try to go to Target for a pair of jeans that you want to make your ass look like the gal's at Fawn Boutique you're in for an unpleasant surprise. Speaking of determining when to spend money for quality versus spending money on pointless shit, on Colter's Facebook Newsfeed this morning there was a Jimmy Choo coffee holder for $175. No one ever needs a $175 coffee sleeve. Really, no one should need a sleeve. It is a convenience some prefer but should not be listed as a basic necessity requiring fulfillment. If you are considering in investing in a piece such as this, call me immediately. I have many other ways to spend $175. Finally, toothbrushes. Get the nice one.

Anyway, back to t shirts and Colter projects. We're actually going to have a couple of shirts to sell this year and with our fancy pants new website and online shop (www.coltercoffee.com) we can sell them online and hopefully actually sell some this year! Be on the lookout, we should be debuting our first 2012 Colter shirt in early February. It says "naked" on it if that blows any whistles.

I'd like to start seeing some reader/customer participation on the blog. I know my opinion and I know how I'd like to run the world (namely, the coffee shop) but I'd really like some input on how we're doing and I feel like this is a good forum for that. So, starting now I'm gonna ask a question in each entry that will help me tweak the goings on at Colter and fix the stuff SweetiePete is screwing up. Don't worry, I blame him for everything.

So, to kick it off and carry on with the theme of today's entry; would you wear a Colter shirt? In my head we are definitely a hip enough spot to be represented by a tee and people obvs are gonna wanna represent us in said tee. I don't always live in reality though, so help me out. A super soft, trendy and even a little edgy tee shirt. Yay or nay?

See you next week. Or tomorrow! Whichever comes first. Sundays always bring a lot of people so I'm sure I'll have stories abounding for the next entry.

Hasta pasta

And, we're back.

The holidays are drawing to a close. If you're a celebrating type I hope you had a bright and cheerful Christmas and if you're not into holidays I hope bright and cheerful still describes your days.

At the shop we have been sa-lammin. No school, college kids in town, family visiting, people on vacation. These people all want coffee, not to mention our regulars. It makes for a rather hectic workday but the days fly by and we still manage to have some fun. Apparently no one besides us has to work, everyone comes in to visit instead!

First Night Flathead is coming up tomorrow, I sure hope everybody comes to catch some tunes. We have advance sale buttons at a discounted price up until the festivities begin. Live music til about 11pm and we'll be open til midnight. Ring in the New Year with us! If Tazia is around at the stroke of midnight I'm sure she'll plant one on ya. We like to call her Mother Earth.

Because it's been so busy lately and we interact with so many people, we are often inundated with questions, comments, conversations, etc. Sometimes it's hard to keep our game faces on. I'm sorry if you've even been on the receiving end of a look of unabashed surprise from me or anyone else. Recently, although I wasn't working, I know I dished one out without meaning to. I was looking all sorts of a hot mess this particular day. We're talking no shower, sweatshirt, hair half pulled back, grungetastic. Perhaps I shouldn't have been in public but I wasn't planning on being in public for long. I met a few girlfriends at the chop to go for a walk and it was insane-o busy, per usual. Walking out, I got stopped by a customer, Henrietta, to say hello. She asked me when I was due to which I replied,
"Oh man. Comin' right up. I'm looking at another 8 weeks."
"Well, I can see it all over your face that you're ready to be done." I know that sentiment such as this comes from a good, best interest at heart place but it's kind of like hearing, "Dang, girl. You look tired! Did you maybe get hit by a car recently? Or do you just take no pride in your appearance? Maybe that's it. The no pride thing."
I responded by saying, "Oh, you know. Thankfully I've had a really easy go of it. Eight months pregnant is not the most comfortable thing no matter which way you look at it, I guess."
"Yeah, yeah, I mean, like I said, I can just see that you are totally over it. At least you're not THAT fat."
Hokay. At this point I imagine I looked like Teddy Ruxpin who had just been told his Teddy Mother got chewed by a Shar Pei Chow mix.

Word to the wise. Just don't say the word 'fat' ever. Even if there is a negative in front of it, ie: not fat, just leave it out entirely. Weight is something women, especially pregnant women aren't into being publicly criticized about. If you do have an urge to comment on the fatness or not that fatness of an individual stop yourself and just say, "lemontree" a few times instead. People might look at you strangely but there will be no obsessing. Granted, I'm sure Henrietta had no ill intent but she probably didn't think about the ripple effect either. I've been wearing scarves everyday since(rather than just a few times a week) to try and hide any extra chins.

How sweet it is to undergo a significant body change under public scrutiny. Bubbles better be cute as hayl is all I've gotta say.

Later sk8r.