Related, the email I was sending was a bid request because I am trying to get new shirts for the chop. If you see Head Cheese wandering through feel free to drop a hint that you would totally wear a swanky new Colter shirt. My bug in his ear doesn't quite cut it.
Anyway. I have a vivid imagination. When it was still socially acceptable I played entirely in made up lands. My younger brother was the only one I ever let come along. We had a blast. It is my nature to create worlds in my head, the only difference is that now I don't live in them, I just tell stories about them. Worlds with rather ordinary plot lines, some based on actual facts, some entirely fictional, all believable enough. It is how I pass my days. It really helps on days I forget my iPod when I go see Jim. Who needs music when there is a sweaty drama playing out before your very eyes?! The coffee chop is another place that is rife with material...
So, there is this couple, Daisy and her husband, Laz. They are an elderly couple, probably close to 80. Daisy always holds onto the tips of her fingers and speaks softly. Laz always has on plaid and a belt buckle. Daisy and Laz come into Colter several times a week, she orders, he pays. A regular latte for him and a decaf latte for her. A milk chocolate bar between them, they sit quietly and enjoy their afternoon ritual. I think they've been married so long that sitting in silence is comfortable and happy. Awhile ago they started coming in less and less. Sometimes Daisy came in and picked up drinks to go. It was evident on the occasions that they came in together that Laz's appearance had been withering. He was much skinnier, purply age spots splattered his skin and a yellowish tinge hung below his eyes. He never came up to the counter and their stays at the coffee shop became briefer and briefer. Eventually they didn't come in at all.
You see, Laz had been battling cancer. He lost his battle and left Daisy a widow. I shared the sad news with everyone behind the counter and we all hung heavy heads and slumped shoulders at the thought of it. After a few months Daisy began coming in every few weeks or so. Getting her decaf latte, sometimes a hot chocolate, sipping it by the window. Once I saw her at the grocery store. I became so overwhelmed by the sadness of it all that I choked up. She had spent decades cooking for her family. Now? Dinner for one. As I drove away from Rosauers that day I made several phone calls. Daisy was a good reminder for me to give a shout out to the top of my list. The whole mess hit me pretty hard.
Then, one day, Laz rose from the dead! He strolled into Colter still looking skinny but certainly looking alive! Alive enough to drink a latte and share a chocolate bar with his bride. He, in fact, hadn't died! Perhaps he hadn't been feeling well. Perhaps the slouchy economy had hindered his desire to spend a Hamilton unnecessarily. Whatever the reason, I had completely made up this man's death. Kinda like Tupac (yeah, I'm still waiting). He's alive and well, I saw him last week. I guess Daisy wasn't shopping for one. They just must eat less than me.
I learned my lesson. I quit sharing my stories aloud.
But then these two Russians walked into my life. They're two brothers amid a pile of other Russian siblings and they are the only family members in the States. These two, Donny and Josh (they obviously picked out their unassuming American names on the boat ride over), come in a coupla times a week. Josh, the bigger one always ordered. He never said much but communicated the necessary information and smiled and headed to the back room where he and Donny sat on their computer and skyped with their family in the motherland. Once Josh came in wearing a US Army fatigue jacket. Either this boy is really delving head first into his newly minted patriotism and joined our military or he is shopping strictly at thrift stores so he can send money back to the pile of siblings. Either way, what a guy, eh?!
Josh speaks some English, Donny doesn't speak any. He still engages enthusiastically with body language, and smiles and laughs wherever it seems appropriate to him. I took to these boys, we bonded. They even learned my name! Such lovely brothers, doing whatever they had to do to help the family. As we became friendlier I grew continually more impressed with their vocabulary. Turns out that Donny did speak a little English! Quite a bit actually. I learned more about them with each visit. Both Donny and Josh are expecting babies of their own although their baby mamas come with some drama. One baby mama has multiple babies and therefore other baby daddy drama. They both are pretty into hip hop.
I also learned that they are from Cleveland originally. Cleveland, Ohio. Ohio... Russia... Same difference?
Maybe I should focus more on cleaning than spinning story threads.
One last quickie:
I knew this wasn't true the entire time I was scheming it up but I still went with it for a good laugh. This will be most enjoyable if you know our Queen Bee, Brenda.
Brenda has obligations outside of Colter so she cannot work more than 20 hours a week unless there are extenuating circumstances. Recently we had a changing of the guard and new management was put into place and new hires are speckled behind the counter. While facilitating a smooth transition Brenda had to work more than her normal schedule.
This woman also happens to be incredibly
Picture this. Brenda, at the end of the month after having to work almost double what she normally accounts for, has almost double the cash she's accustomed to! What does she do? She throws caution to the wind and gets a ghetto blaster, a grill (the kind rappers put in their mouths, not the kind suburbia puts on their decks), and some Kanye shades and cruises Kali in her 1981 Oldsmobile Cutlass Sierra with Boots (the cat) chillin in the red velvet passenger seat. Definitely makes it rain on the people waiting at the crosswalk. In slo mo, flashin the grill. Yeahhhhh Boieeee.
Now you know what I do at work all day, what keeps y'all distracted at work?
